【To Be Continued...】How to Live a Good & Meaningful Life?

Intro (Thesis)

In our life journey, we are born and we all die at some point. What should we really do between this time that we have in order to live a good and meaningful life with no regrets? A lot of people including myself have been working hard on how to live a good life and we all receive these ideas from our dominant cultures. Such as the corporate, folk, and other subculture that shape us into who we are today. People are connected to these cultures, and we all taught our self that we are living a good and meaningful life by self hypnosis. We are so hypnogenetic that we do not even know our life is considered meaningful or not. Throughout our life, we all seek for happiness. We want to be happy, that is why we are unhappy when we don't have happy. We are sad, therefore we will be happy. Our life is mostly connected with the word "happy", and no matter what we consider happy is as a meaningful life, people are escaping the reality and trying to be happy in their life. Thus, they can avoid as much pain as they can in their life so it will be meaningful with happiness. People are all liars that they are lying to themselves that they are living a good and meaningful life when they are actually escaping the real world and living in their own hallucinatory world.

Dominant Culture - Definition of Dominant Message

The dominant corporate culture is made of companies who constantly pour messages into people's brain such as pursuing happiness, and get accepted by the society. Then these messages will eventually brainwash people's view of living a good meaningful life because they often seem to be accepted by the majority and it shapes the way people live. The most popular way the companies send these messages is through the tool of media. Since now a day, most of the teens even adults are sit in front of the computer at least for two hours. The companies make advertisements on Internet in almost every website that keep telling people how to live a good and meaningful life. Other ways of sending these messages are through the TV (commercials), magazine, newspaper, posters on street, trains...etc. In people's daily life, we see these messages everywhere and they are the most popular topics that most people talk about. The powers of these messages are not only shaping people's way of living, it also affects people's view on looking at their life. The most common ones that we see in our daily life are to be cool, rich, and live our life with happiness. The dominant corporate perspective on living a good meaningful life are basically trying to teach people how to upgrade themselves and to be better in some way. Such as looking good even though you are already looking fine or it tells you that you have to be trendy so you are always with the dominant group. But one thing these corporate companies will never expose to people is that we are all followers that we are not being our "real self". The goal for the corporate companies are not really teaching people how to live a good life, the way it works is that benefit comes first, others second. Thus, people often shaped by the dominant culture and got brainwash by these accepted messages from the majority.

Dominant Culture - Dominant Message from Music Video "Lip Gloss"

People in now a day society are mostly shaped by the corporate culture. The corporate culture constantly sends messages throughout many different kinds of ways to tell people how to live a good meaningful life. One music video that I watched called the "Lip Gloss" by Lil' Mama is basically a music clip that tells people how to fit in among the larger community. In the very beginning of the music video, she is trying to fit in to the “cool crowd”, so she will be poppin’. After she got the lip gloss, she changed totally from self-diffident to self-confident to represent she fits in the group now, and she is cool. Throughout the whole video, it constantly sends the message to people that they have to look good and cool by using expensive products/cosmetics to be able to have a good life (power) in this society, because they fit in the group and they are part of the popularity. Also it helps you to get sexual attention from the opposite sex and being the representative of the same sex at the same time. The pop culture in this society is sending out the dominant message that you have to follow the trend and update yourself to be able to get the center attention. Or else, you will not be on the same level as the other. In other word, you will not be attached to the society that you are in. Overall, by doing so, people will be happy, meaning living a good and meaningful life. The corporate culture sometimes tells people the marginal message about how to live a good meaningful life, but often people don't really see it. Which has caused people to live in a lie and taught themselves they are living a good and meaningful life. According to this music video, the marginal message is that you don't need these luxuries and you will still be pretty, but if you use it, you will upgrade yourself. The society are really the one who gets to decide what is really the right way to live a good and meaningful life because we all consumes of these corporate companies.

Dominant Culture - Dominant Message from Film "The Music of My Heart"

Music video is not the only ones who send out corporate messages that will affect people's perspective on living a good meaningful life. Movies and films send out message that will affect how people should live, too. One movie that I watched called "The Music of My Heart" is basically about having accomplishments in the society. The movie starts out to be a woman whose family has fall apart and she has to start her new life in a new black community while she is Caucasian. At first, she went to a school for part time job to teach students violin lessons. But then most of the parents did not seem to accept her. They do not want their kids to play the "white men's music". Throughout the whole movie, she insistently spreading how important it is to the kids in spite of what race the music is from. She starts to get accepted by the parents by showing them how talented their kids are in the music concerts. Which later gets to the end that more students want to be her students and she even get to perform with her students in Carnegie Hall. This movie tells people that they should not go away from their obstacles and they should overcome the things that are on their way. It also tells people that if you are persistence on your dream, you will succeed someday. This messages that is being send out from the dominant culture sometimes might not be so bad to follow because it gives people a sense of belong and avoid being lost. But at the same time it makes people to have higher expectations in their life that they believe they can accomplish anything they want. People always attempt to be over optimistic that they are living in an illusion world that they create for themselves to maintain gratification.

Dominant Culture - Dominant Message from Magazine "OUT"

Not only the televisions and the movies send out corporate messages. The magazines and advertisement send out messages that will affect us somehow, too. I still remember one magazine that I read in the library called "OUT", a fashion magazine, inside it was full of articles and advertisement about high fashions and how to look good in the society. One article I read called "Taste Makers 2008" by Chris Rovzar is a write up with details about high fashion taste for the year. The article is an interview of many designers and directors of famous brand. They explained how they create an impeccable taste and style that make people's life simpler, prettier, happier, and richer. The creative director from Calvin Klein, Kevin Carrigan explained "it's extremely important for me to have one consistent message for the season that can be applied to different areas and different regions- one emotion with many expressions." Based on what he said in the article, it pretty clear that these magazines do send out messages that tells people how to have a good meaningful life. He believes that it is extremely important for him to create a taste for people in order to help them look good. But these magazines never mention how expensive these products are. Throughout the whole article, there are bunch of top designers and taste makers who talked about what is the best taste in this society, but the prohibited message is that they never tell you that these are all luxuries that you not necessary need in your life. The whole point of wearing these expensive brands is to make yourself feel comfort in the society-the feeling of being accepted by somebody else. Thus, people will no longer feel they are alone and they lie to themselves that they are living a good and meaningful life. However, these people never realize that they are just living a good and meaningful life in other's eyes, but not in their own perspective. We all are living in a society that is being tie to the dominant corporate culture like puppets that we are unable to disconnect from them caused of the power of the majority.

Dominant Culture - Definition of Marginal Message

From the dominant corporate culture, we are not only shaped by the dominant messages that we often see in daily life. We also are shaped by the marginal messages from movies, TV, commercials, and advertisements...etc. Marginal messages are the ones that we don't often see in movies or TV, but it is not something new. It is something that we know and see before, but not often. Some of the marginal messages are to make a difference, to be the real self, the truly you, or money is not everything but not having it is...etc. All these messages are something that we know and see in the movies, but they are not often show though media. But it still shapes people in some way on living a good meaningful life. These messages are often seem to be acceptable to follow and they are not as the popular one as it is. Sometimes people think that to be the true self is to follow what they believe and avoid following the messages from the dominant corporate culture. For marginal messages, they are different from the dominant messages that sometimes they are not bad to follow and they will somehow make sense to people to live a good and meaningful life based on them. Such as to make a difference and fight the norms, these are the marginal messages from the media that are acceptable for people to follow. However, they are easy saying but hard to do. All these messages are being exposed to the public is because people are often attempt to do it, but unable to reach it. People reduce the unhappiness so they feel like they are getting close to the reality.

Dominant Culture - Marginal Message from Film "Fight Club"

One movie called the "Fight Club" is a movie that really sends out marginal messages that people do not really hear them often. Throughout the whole movie, Tyler Durden keeps saying things to the narrator to face the reality. One scene that they caught an Asian guy and put a gun on his head to force him to answer the question "what he want to be", it is a scene that makes people to think about their life and feel cherish for each second that is passing by us. If this guy does not end up to be what he said he wanted to be, he will be killed. Then Tyler explained that in these six months, the foods that the guy eats will taste better than anything he has tasted in the rest of his life. I feel like this scene is very reinforcing the point that you have to know who you want to be, and if you think about death, it will really come up to a reason to yourself that why should you live. Another scene is when Tyler said, "You're not your job. You're not how much money you have in the bank. You're not the car you drive. You're not your fucking khakis. You're the all-singing, all-dancing crap of the world." I think this is a powerful statement in the movie that sends out a message to people that even we so much being aware of ourselves, we actually does not worth as much as we look ourselves compare to others look at ourselves. I think Tyler in this movie said that is because he is trying to say that we consuming a lot of products that we do not really need, and trying to be rich and struggle with money, all these things in our life has been making our life out of shaped. The reason that all these truth messages that gets to extreme are able to show on the movie through media to the rest of the people is because these messages are easy say but hard to do. People sublimate themselves to take the real urge to be something that they will be, and shape it in a way they will comfort themselves, so they will feel comfort of who they are. However, these marginal messages do shaped the way people live even though they might not be able to really take the urge to do what they are said to do.

Dominant Culture - Marginal Message from Magazine "Milk"

Not only movies are the most popular one that sends marginal messages. Magazines are part of the media that sends the messages that we don't often seem, too. One magazine that I read called "Milk", a fashion magazine that tells you the new products from most of the famous brands - mostly street wear brands. One of the pages from that magazine was saying that it is the Milk magazine's birthday. The author of that article was talking about the reason why people celebrate birthdays and he asked a question saying "Why do people celebrate birthdays if they were counting down that they are getting old even more?". Another question that he asked was "Why do people celebrate birthdays if they were celebrating they are getting closer to death?". These are the message that I don't really see on the magazines, but I believe these are marginal messages that the media are sending out sometimes. I also heard a lot of people saying when people celebrating their birthdays, it is also celebrating their mom's most painful day. Although knowing these messages does not really bother me the way I celebrate my birthday, but I think these messages are quite powerful. Because these messages are the ones that people media does not exposed often. It is like a flip over of the fantasy of celebrating birthdays back to the reality of the celebrations. Although people don't usually see these messages, they are able to expose to the public is because people will still do it! Perhaps people will take these messages as a curiosity and twist the message to the ones that they will be able to follow. Same as learning, everybody perceive differently based on what they learned. Marginal messages do affect the way people lived, and it depends on how the person takes the message to live on their life. It might be meaningful for them to live by knowing a new message from the corporate culture.

Folk Culture - Definition of Dominant Message

People do not only affect by the corporate culture to live their life, they are also related to the folk culture such as holidays, traditions, or lessons from the teachers or parents. In the United States, most people practiced the famous holidays: Christmas, Thanksgiving, and Halloween...etc. These holidays are not only part of our culture; it is also a special day that teaches people how to live a good and meaningful life. The most popular dominant message from the folk culture will be spend time with your family, friends, shared love, and peace. All these aspects of living a good meaningful life are most likely seem to be as the obligation for people in their life. In this case, families are considering the most important to people and they value the most since we are closer than anybody else. Most of these holidays are being practiced by the majority and people do follow these dominant messages from the folk culture to live their life. These messages do not have to do with companies, but ideas being passed down from ancestors. They do have meanings behind it and reasons to be exist in folk culture, but they are difficult to determine whether is right or wrong in my perspective. It is definitely a choice for people to choose to live their life whether they want to believe in these messages or not.

Folk Culture - Dominant Message from Interviewing My Family "Dad and Mom"

When I asked my family what is their aspects of living a good and meaningful life. The replies that I heard frequently were happiness or finding your bliss. My mom specifically believes that family is the most important in our life and descendants should be responsible for the elders as a payback for all the caring. Differently, like my dad, he believes that being successful is the most important in life because we will be able to have a life with challenge and obstacles. Achieving something and accomplish something can access us to learn more things around us. As interviewing my family about how to live a good and meaningful life, I noticed that my family is mostly like the dominant culture because they are being shaped by it, too. All the aspects such as being successful, family, are mostly connected to happiness. People are working so hard to achieve the “good” things and avoid the “bad” things in their life as the definition of living a good and meaningful life. Even though we see as a reality that family or success might not be the most important things in our life, we taught our self to believe in it and avoid the reality, so we feel like we are approaching to the real world. The fact that most people are lying to themselves is because they do not want to face the pain in life and they consider the “bad” things as not a good life.

Folk Culture - Dominant Message from Interviewing People on Street

While my family believes that the meaning of life is family and to succeed, some people think the meaning of life is mostly happiness, too. The most common answers that I got from the people on the streets are: families, friends, and happiness [a sense of belongings]. But there do have some unique answers such as: God, music, fashion, photography [dreams and achievements]. When people mentioned meaningful, it usually means something that you appreciate and it “means” something to you like a mark that makes it unique in your life. The way I interpret these people's ideas about to live a good meaningful life is to put them into two different categories. One of them is individualism, and the other is groups. While some people like to live their life based on others such as family and friends to have a sense of belonging, the other 1/3 of people like to live their life based on their dreams that does not really have to do with somebody else. The specific pattern that I see from the people who response, “family, friends, and happiness” is that these people are the ones who think a meaningful life is to having a relation with somebody else to be able to make their life and somebody else’s life meaningful. Not necessary they are seeking for meaningful by themselves, but they are looking for meaningful by being part of somebody else. The pattern that I see from the people who response, "convey God, music, and fashion" is that they are the ones who like to be independent and go on their own other than with somebody else. It does not mean these people do not have a family or friends, but it seems they like to do things individually in order to make life meaningful for them. People believe in these aspects of life to fill their emptiness is because they think that is the meaning of living. But they never step forward to face the fact that they are all emptiness and they do not need to rely on other things to get accepted by the others to live a good and meaningful life. Therefore, people are lying to themselves to live in their own fantasy world.

Folk Culture - Dominant Message from Holidays "Thanksgiving"

Other than interviewing people on the street and my family regarding on folk culture, holiday could be seen as the folk culture that leads us to live a good and meaningful life, too. Thanksgiving, a popular holiday that most Americans celebrate, it is a holiday that really limits the things you can do on that day. For the people who celebrate this holiday, you must have eaten a lot on that day. Even though you are on a diet, this day is an exception. On Thanksgiving, the choice of food is limited too. Such as turkey, corn, pumpkin, mash potatoes...etc. and it is representing the harvest of the year. Perhaps, some foods are being abandoned on that specific holiday. For the dressing code, you might have to dress in a certain way looking nice in the dinner, looking different than you used to eat dinner. Which is making yourself more uncomfortable on this specific day, but also special in the other hand. It also contradicts itself because your family should appreciate and feel thankful about what they have, family is part of it regardless of how each other look, but you have to dress up on that day to eat with your family. In addition, the participants on this holiday are only for families mostly, it is not a day that you should spend with your friends or any other. This holiday is basically teaching people that in order to have a good meaningful life; you should be with your family and have a peaceful dinner. Then everybody gathers around and has a nice day together. But the part that it contradicts is that the conversation on the dinner is very limited. Such as bring up the thanksgiving is actually celebrating the Indians got killed by the Whites (genocide). A lot of things that you might want to share with your family, it might not be a good day to bring it up on a holiday in case you might be the one who have just ruin the day that everybody is expected to be happy. Another part that it contradicts is that this holiday tells you that sometimes is acceptable to leave your friends out, and family should be the number one on the obligation list. In other words, family is more important than friends. Therefore, when there is a holiday, people's daily actions might be twist a little and is absolutely limited. People are self hypnosis that living a good and meaningful life is to spend time with the family and that is the way to pursue happiness. But they never realize or avoid knowing the truth of the holiday and taught themselves to believe that celebrating holidays with families are not aspects of living a good life.

Folk Culture - Dominant Message from Regular People Online "Strike up Conversation"

In addition, looking at regular people’s dominant folk culture on line, "How to Strike up Conversation with a Random Guy at the Mall", it is teaching people how and what should they say and act in the mall in order to talk to a guy that they think is "cute". I personally think by doing it, it makes the person look even worst in terms of embarrassment, and obvious in the public's eyes. "If he says yes, remember to make lots of eye contact then proceed to buy the object but then say "Oh man! I forgot my money!" then say "You all can come with me to go get it." Leave the store and don't go back for at least twenty minutes if he didn't ask for your phone number while you where talking to him." From reading all these "HOWs" on wikis, I noticed that they often do not really tell you specifically how would the other person felt, but they tell you what they think the person will say or think. By setting up all these plans to do something to get what you want, your "target", people always think in their mind about how that person will react back to their actions. Refer back from the quote, it said, "if he says yes", I think there could be more answers than just a yes or no, what if it turns out to be something else, how would this person react back to it without planning it at the first place. Wouldn't it be more awkward? People always make plans for things and think before taking actions in their life and they think it might always have the best outcome. But sometimes things are mostly turn out to be something else that you never expected. Also, it teaches you to say that "Oh man, I forgot my money" and leave the store to wait for the guy to ask you for the phone number. I personally think saying you forgot your money is more embarrass and it is obvious to the others. Throughout the whole web page, it is teaching people how to get accepted by the others and how people should act in the society without being embarrass. But ironically, I think by doing that is more embarrass than just be who you are. "If your friends see you continuously make eye contact with him, they might think you are trying to have him talk to you, which may get you embarrassed. Don't sound too obvious, or it will make you sound desperate for him." I think the whole "drama" that is being set up itself is already making the person who is doing it look like a clown. It is obvious because you talks to the man first, and I think the man is desperate by the time too. "This guy could be a complete weirdo so even if he looks cute, you never know if he's committed murder or something scary, so if he like invites you to his house or something odd, have some common sense. Say no! You have to REALLY get to know him before you seriously get close to him." I think this warning is basically telling people to be aware of strangers; they might be dangerous to you. But at the same time, it teaches you how to talk to strangers. It is contradictive, and is kind of a nonsense overall to me. At the same time, it is indicating the dominant perspective of how people should live their life- putting a mask on yourself the whole time, so you will be living a good and meaningful life avoiding the reality.

Folk Culture - Dominant Message from Early Education "Vice-Principal's Math Class"

Moreover, teachers from primary schools are constantly giving messages to the students about how to live a good and meaningful life, too. When I was in third grade, my math teacher was the vice-principal of the school teaching our class math. Every time when we start the class, we are supposed to know how to do addition, subtraction, multiplication and division very well. He gets to choose which role of the students in the beginning of the class to answer bunch of math problems on the little board, and if one of the person from the role answer it wrong or taking too long, the whole role get to punish-slapping palms. I personally do not think this is living a good and meaningful life that people cannot have flaws in their life. The vice-principal is teaching us that we should always be prepare for the class and we should not make mistakes in life because that is consider “bad” as human. People are been taught to do things perfectly when there is no such thing call perfect. But people never realize or remember that we all learn from mistakes. If we do not make mistakes, we will never get to learn more things in our life. People always taught themselves the way of living a good life has to include all the “good” things and exclude the “bad”. But never understand the relationship is that “bad” and “good” is always connected that they cannot be separate.

Folk Culture - Marginal Message from Uncle "Do Things that Make you Feel Happy"

In our life, we sometimes met people or revealers who give us some marginal messages from the folk culture about how to live a good and meaningful life, too. Such as from our uncles or elders that they will suggest some messages about life that we might never heard of. One of my uncles has always been telling me that I should do the things that I like and I shouldn’t force myself to do something that caused me to feel misery. He is telling me that life is too short to enjoy and I should not be always unhappy about the little things in our life. The message that my uncle gave me is consider a typical marginal message from the folk culture. At some point, he could be right that as human, we should not always struggle about things that are making us feel unhappy. But at the same time, this is not living a good and meaningful life because nothing is perfect and we should face the bad things and good things in our life. We should not walk away from difficulties and unhappiness in our life. People always attempt to avoid reality and blindfold their eyes from the bad things because they believe good things are the way of living a good life. However, things come around and go around, good come from bad, and bad come from good. People should face the obstacles in their life and include the "bad" in their life in order to be good.