After looking at all the examples, I think it all has to do with avoid making mistakes of doing something. In other words, what is really the right thing to do. From the wiki answers of telling you "how", I think it is teaching people how to act in a certain way so you are not embarrass in the public, or it teaches you how to get the things you want such as a boy/girlfriend, happiness mostly. Overall, it is telling people how to act in a certain way, so they will be accepted by somebody else or the society such as fitting in. By following these tips and advices that the people gave online, I think the person who follows it is really a person who are not living a good meaningful life because that is not the "real" you. Perhaps even myself do not know who is really the real me, but I guess the real me is full of flaws and embarrassed things from the public's view hiding deep inside of myself that do not want to reveals in front of the others. Therefore, we act in certain characters in front of the other people and try to tell our self that is the "real" me.
When you don't want to act in a certain way but you are forcing yourself to, I think the person is living a life with their own fantasy or a struggle-trying to get the best out of it even though it might not fit them. Also, it is very difficult for the person living a life with rules that people tell you, to be this and to be that. The fact that we are all puppets being tie up, people should try to cut off some of it or as much as they can especially when they have the choice of giving the string or not to the person who is holding it. In other words, people can make choices of how they want to live, how they want to start a conversation with their boyfriends or how to talk to a stranger. Why should we follow these advices? Also, it is better to find the way that is the best for yourself. In other perspective, those could be a very good tips for people, but I don't think people should take it if they it does not work for them and they are forcing themselves to be someone they do not want to be.
For "How to Strike Up Conversation with a Random Guy at the Mall", it is teaching people how and what should they say and act in the mall in order to talk to a guy that they think is "cute". I personally think by doing it, it makes the person look even worst in terms of embarrassment, and obvious in the public's eyes. "If he says yes, remember to make lots of eye contact then proceed to buy the object but then say "Oh man! I forgot my money!" then say "You all can come with me to go get it." Leave the store and don't go back for at least twenty minutes if he didn't ask for your phone number while you where talking to him." From reading all these "HOWs" on wikis, I noticed that they often do not really tell you specifically how would the other person felt, but they tell you what they think the person will say or think. By setting up all these plans to do something to get what you want, your "target", people always think in their mind about how that person will react back to their actions. Refer back from the quote, it said, "if he says yes", I think there could be more answers than just a yes or no, what if it turns out to be something else, how would this person react back to it without planning it at the first place. Wouldn't it be more awkward? People always make plans for things and think before taking actions in their life and they think it might always have the best outcome. But sometimes things are mostly turn out to be something else that you never expected. Also, it teaches you to say that "Oh man, I forgot my money" and leave the store to wait for the guy to ask you for the phone number. I personally think saying you forgot your money is more embarrass and it is obvious to the others. Throughout the whole web page, it is teaching people how to get accepted by the others and how people should act in the society without being embarrass. But ironically, I think by doing that is more embarrass than just be who you are. "If your friends see you continuously make eye contact with him, they might think you are trying to have him talk to you, which may get you embarrassed. Don't sound too obvious, or it will make you sound desperate for him." I think the whole "drama" that is being set up itself is already making the person who is doing it look like a clown. It is obvious because you talks to the man first, and I think the man is desperate by the time too. "This guy could be a complete weirdo so even if he looks cute, you never know if he's committed murder or something scary, so if he like invites you to his house or something odd, have some common sense. Say no! You have to REALLY get to know him before you seriously get close to him." I think this warning is basically telling people to be aware of strangers, they might be dangerous to you. But at the same time, it teaches you how to talk to strangers. It is contradive, and is kind of a nonsense overall to me. At the same time, it is indicating the dominant perspective of how people should live their life- puting a mask on yourself the whole time.
I do not play facebook, but I think by playing it, it is already a waste of time. It is quite pointless to give people advice on how they should play facebook. People choose to play it because it is fun and it interests them. If playing in a way that follows other people's advice, where is the fun for them? Also, I personally think that Facebook is created for people to put time into it, so I don't think it is necessary to tell people how to play Facebook without wasting time. "Consider quitting Facebook and state that you are too addicted. True friends will understand. "I think is hard to quit something when you are addicted to it, and is not like you quit, then everything goes away. It takes time to really adapt to the new life without facebook. In addition to that, they said true friends will understand. I do not think being a true friend needs a facebook to contact each other and friendship does not build up through Internet, but real life contact or interactions. If quiting a facebook that my friend actually do understand, I personally don't think it shows that my friend is a true friend, it is just being understanding of each other. Facebook does not rate whether your friend is a true friend or not either. They make it seems like facebook is one of the important things between friendship, which has already twist the meaning of friends. This tells people that in order to live a good and meaningful life, don't waste time on the unnecessary things but at the same time, it encourages you to do play facebook, but in the correct way. It is always contradictive by giving advice that support people to play facebook, but at the same time don't waste time for it. These advices never tell people that by playing facebook, it is already the waste of time because it has to follow all the steps." Fifteen minutes might be a healthy amount of time to spend on a Facebook session." These advices are definitely teaching people how to live in a certain way that is consider meaningful and acceptable such as how should people use their time and don't waste them. At the very last, it said, "If all else fails, quit face book." I don't think people should quit facebook because they cannot follow those steps that they advice. While they are telling you to avoid wasting time on facebook, at the same time, it contradicts by saying facebook is a waste of time itself. Perhaps, playing it in your own way without following these steps are making your life more meaningful than struggling how you should shaped yourself into somebody else. Moreover, all these advices are easy say, hard to do. If people are not addicted to it, they will know how to manage their time better.
Another example that I saw online was "How to Make a Best Friend", it tells you that there are plenty of best friends out there and it is up to you if want it or not. "Be a good listener. Don't act stuck-up. Be friendly and say hi to absolutely everybody. Think about others 1st and help them. " At the beginning, it describes that people do have possibilities to make friends with everybody. But in order to do that, you have to be a certain kind of people such as be a good listener and think about the others first. I think friendships really come naturally to everybody and I don't think people have to do certain things to make friends. My opinion to build up a friendship is to be who you are, but not to be someone else. Because once you make a friend with somebody, you supposed to be your true self, not somebody you don't want to. If you have to act yourself up in order to get a best friend, I think it is making yourself more uncomfortable and at the same time, it is obvious, that this friend is not good for you. The web page provide a lot of steps and advices, but they never tell you that by doing so, it makes yourself to act in certain way to serve somebody else. You are acting up to be the person that the others want, and therefore, you are serving the others with happiness. More important, you are not the only who are receiving happiness. If making a friend that makes you feel uncomfortable to be with, then why force yourself so hard to try to maintain this friendship? While they are telling people how they should "look like" in order to have a best friend, it says "Be yourself. Because if all goes as planned, they'll see the real you and know you were lying, so stay yourself, because any chances of them being your best friend are much higher!" It contradicts because if you are not acting properly such as being a good listener...etc., there might be a chance that you cannot find a best friend. But at the same time on the tips list, it tells you to be yourself when you are making a friend. So which one should people follow? To be themselves? Or somebody else that the others want? "Try to laugh at their jokes (Even if it's not funny) that would make them feel comfortable! " Again, it constantly tells people to be a "fake" person, but at the same time you should keep it real. This web page tells people that in order to have a good and meaningful life, you should have a best friend and used specific techniques to maintain this friendship. But by reading all the advices, I think it makes the people living a life with more contradictions. Even on the web page itself, it is obviously contradictive. "Make sure that this person isn't mean to other people, or two-faced. This can happen quite easily. Some people might be sweet to your face, then gossip behind your back. This doesn't mean accuse someone of being two-faced when they're really sweet, but you should just make sure this doesn't happen. A mean person doesn't make for a good friend." I think this is very ironic because before accusing your friend being a two-faced, yourself is already one of them. Thus, do true friendship exist? I think it might exist when you were a kid, but once when people get older, they think more deeper and have another voice in their mind about somebody else. It is quite difficult to maintain a friendship, but I don't think by doing the advice will help you to have the best friendship either.
In conclusion, I think most of these advices are making people's life more confused and full of contradictions. Also, it reveals the standard of the society and the public's eyes to the others. It certainly tells you how to live a good and meaingful life and how to get accepted by the society. But the ironic part was that by doing all of these steps, you are serving the others the priority to receive happiness, not yourself. While you are trying/struggling for happiness, having everything the best for your life, you are basically destroying the happiness of your own life.
1 comment:
Really enjoyed this post.
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