Interviews With Old Folks (Grandparents from Father's Side)

Interviewing My Grandmother.

1. Why are you waiting for death instead of just to kill yourself?
Mostly because I have my family, grand kids, sons and daughters. As a parent, no matter how old your child is, you still have to take good care of them. Also, because they are part of me, and I'm part of the family. Everybody have responsibilities, and I want to be here for them as long as I can, so I'm always available for them when they need me. And I still have my husbands to be with me living happily every day. So I don't really see the purpose of finishing up my life when I have the chance to live. There are a lot of people out there that want to live and does not even have the destiny to.

2. Is there any meaning for you to continue your life with pain that you have to suffer?
Yes, because I have seen pain and I suffer them before. And when you get old, you'll get used to it and they just felt like a regular thing that happens to you everyday like you have to eat every single day.

3. What motivate you to continue living?
Legacy. My friends and my family. The longer I live, the more I can see. And I have to pray for my family, so everybody can live safely and happily.

4. Do legacy plays a big role in your life at this point?
Of course. I have been working so hard back then for my family, food and a good life. And now I am enjoying the pay off.

5. Are you afraid of death?
Not really. Because I seen my friends are dying and I know that it happens to everybody. Why would I spend so much time thinking about it, when I can just enjoy my life happily? I would just live the longest I can and no fears towards death even though it will come any time.

6. Why are you so optimistic about death? What caused that?

You'll know when you are old. Death is not the scariest thing in life. As a Chinese, we all have 5 good fortune. "longevity", "riches and honour", "health and peace", "virtue and morality" and "die in one's bed". So death is consider one of them. You should not afraid of it and feel bad about it at all.

7. What do you think the meaning of life for you at this point of life?

Again. My family and friends. Also I can see as much as I can. Technology are going a lot faster now. Even your grandfather is learning how to use computers. There is always a meaning to live, you just have to find it.

8. Have you ever thought of tomorrow? Or you are always ready to die?
I always thought about tomorrow. I have to cook for your grandpa, pray, and a lot of housework. Also, I have to travel with my friends and enjoy my life. I can't be ready for it, until I know when is coming. Also, as an old person, you can sense when it is coming.

9. Did life meet your gratification? Or at this point of your life, what gratify you?
Happiness and everybody in my family living happily gratify me a lot. There is no perfect, but I did meet my gratification. But as a person, you always want more.

10. Have you ever try to fill the generation gap between yourself and your descendant? Or have you ever felt being excluded by the society?
I never felt I am being excluded by the society. The young ones can do what they want, and our old ones can do what we want. We are all part of the society, and we are just in different categories. I do not really see the generation gap between myself and my descendant, but when there is, I will always want to ask them what is it. So I can learn and fill the gap.

11. What are your responsibilities at this point?
To take care of my family and pray for god to bless all of us. Everybody have responsibilities, and mine is to take good care of my child and their grand kids.

12. Do you like to be old?
Of course not. But time does not wait for people and is not for me to choose I want to be old or not. You just have to accept the reality.

13. Do you have more patience when you are old?
Yes, because you see more and experience more. Everything turns to be regular in my life. Things are going slower, too. When you get used to it as a habit, I don't see the reason why you can't wait.

14. What is your elderly plan when you are young?
To be with my family and try to help them as much as I can. I know I would be old someday, so I do as much as I can when I am young. Of course, to work hard to have a better family condition. So my kids and grand kids do not have to suffer from starving in the future. For myself, I plan to travel when I am old and just enjoy my life.

15. How does it felt to be separated from your own child?

Of course I did not get used to it at first, because they are my children. But that is how life is, you have to release. Also, they come more than thrice a week sometimes even more. They have their own family and things to do. As long as they still remember me and come visit, I am happy and gratify.

Interviewing My Grandfather.

1. Why are you waiting for death instead of just to kill yourself?

First of all, it is because of your grandma. I want to be with her as long as I can since we choose to be each other's partners when we get old. When you marry, your partner's responsibility is to stay with their spouse as long as they can. Second, it is my family and my friends. I felt the connection between myself and my family, and I am looking forward to see their future and hope the best of all for my family. I do not see the purpose of suicide and there is always a solution to problems, why choose to be an escapist.

2. Is there any meaning for you to continue your life with pain that you have to suffer?

Yes, because pain should not be the reason or hindrance that stop your life. Life must go on. You don't have the choice to be on earth, but since you are here, just do your job and live your life. There is always a reason why you are here, and do what you have to do. On your way of living, you will see the meaning of life.

3. What motivate you to continue living?

Again, my family, friends. Legacy. There is always something that you can do. Contribute to the society and help the others. There are still a lot of place that I haven't travel to yet, and I am looking forward to travel with my friends.

4. Do legacy plays a big role in your life at this point?

Yes. It is really the biggest motivation for my life at this point. When I am young, I worked hard to get what I want and when I die, I suppose to pass to somebody else. Life is a cycle, generation to generation. I contribute what I can and we should always think of the next generation. We cannot be so selfish and just thinking about our own.

5. Are you afraid of death?
No, because I don't see it as a big deal or the end of the world. When I was less than 10 years old, I already lost my parents. I know death is just part of our life and it is not something that people should be afraid of. Also, if everybody dies but you, that is more scary.

6. Why are you so optimistic about death? What caused that?

Because I seen it, and I know it will happen to everybody. So I don't think death is really a bad thing, it could see as a release for a person. Thus, they don't suffer pain anymore. But it doesn't mean you should just kill yourself and release. If you have the chance to live, you should cherish every chance that you have to look forward to things. Once times pass, it doesn't comes back. When you are old, there are something that you can't do. There are many people that want to live but can't. You have the chance to, so you should live your life. Don't let yourself to feel regret about anything you had done when you look back to life.

7. What do you think the meaning of life for you at this point of life?
Traveling around, watching my family and be with my spouse. It doesn't matter how long I can live, as long as I think my life is worth living from learning more every single day.

8. Have you ever thought of tomorrow? Or you are always ready to die?
It is not like something you can get ready for. I bet almost everybody have thought about death and people expected it will come someday. We all just living our life and waiting. Once you get old, you will start to thinking about that day since it is coming soon and get prepare. But you should always thought of tomorrow, because you never know what will happen.

9. Did life meet your gratification? Or at this point of your life, what gratify you?

Does not have to starve is something that I gratify a lot. Seeing my family living happily and healthy meet my gratification, too. Not necessary have to be rich or something like that, having something such as family that money can't buy, it is something that makes me feel proud and worth living.

10. Have you ever try to fill the generation gap between yourself and your descendant? Or have you ever felt being excluded by the society?

I read and watch the news everyday, and I do not feel I am being excluded by the society at all. Even though I am old, but I am still part of the society. I never thought of or even attempt to fill the generation gap between myself and my descendants because I don't see the reason to. I have my generation and they have theirs. We are growing up in a different environment and it is hard to understand each other. But I do not really see the gap between me and my son because we can still communicate and talk. It is just we have different toys, like I play clays, and you guys play computers. Although we are different, I don't see there is a problem. We can always talk about the problems between different generations.

11. What are your responsibilities at this point?

Be a good father, a grandfather and a good citizen of my country. Now I don't have to work anymore and all I have to do is sleep, eat, travel, and have fun. I enjoy my life and is been a long time that I have retired. I get used to my life and my responsibility is just not to be a burden for my descendants. I wish they all living happily.

12. Do you like to be old?

Nobody wants to be old. But it is not our choice. So accepted and cherish your adolescent life. Remember, time worth more than anything.

13. Do you have more patience when you are old?

I guess so. When you are old, things sometimes gets slower and that trains you to have more patience. You would not complain as much as you used to when you are young. Things are getting more clam and peacefully.

14. What is your elderly plan when you are young?

Worked hard and build up a good environment for my descendants. Help my sons and daughters and my grandchildren. Let them have the sense of home. Then enjoy my life and feel restful.

15. How does it felt to be separated from your own child?

Not a big difference. Because they always come visit and I always travel around myself. I know I have to let go, and I expect this to happen. So it not like the end of the world that I feel lonely. There is always something that you can find to do and don't always distract the youngster. They have their things to do and I have my own.