Thoughts on "Living Funeral"

While thinking about the living funeral and the list of the people I would invite, it immediately drags me to think about all the memories I had in my life time and the people I met. Since I am proposing a "living" funeral, that means I am still alive. I would never know when is my last breath and it is impossible for me to bring all the things with me. In one way, inviting the people I love and coming to my living funeral with sorrow is a bit pointless because my death leads people to be unhappy. Indeed, the moment when I closed my eyes, these things will be forgotten. I would have no feeling, no memory, dead. In the other hand, having the ritual of holding up a living funeral, I would be able to listen to a lot of the last words from people before I die though is not going to be with me. The moment should be touching and people with tears. But after all, the people who is still living, their life still go on. Then what is the point of a living funeral and put the others in the spot of sorriness? Is it like a birthday party, that living and dying should be celebrated in some way?

I think a living funeral is a bit weird, because I am not dead yet. If I choose to sit around with bunch of people and talk about my feelings at that moment, I strongly felt this decision is pointless. Since I am going to die, I do not see the point of leaving my last words to the people who is living. I do not expect to see the people I love to feel bad and cry or to remember I am not here anymore. Also, how long will these words last in people's mind? If for me, I would like to make my living funeral an actual, "real" funeral. I would ask my closest friend to host my living funeral as I am actually dead and hiding in the back listening to how they felt about me. Since these people are the ones who mostly affected my life, there is a possibility of seeing myself in their words for the last time. By doing this, I would be able to know who am I to the others and how much I actually matter to others' life. Also, my friend would be reading my last words to the people who attend to this living funeral,too. Although it does not seem like a living funeral to the others, but to me, it is. These words from the others supposed to be something that I will never be able to hear because by that time I am lying in the coffin, dead. But planning a living funeral as I am pretending I am dead, is a great "period" as finishing up the last sentence of my life. I got to listen to something that I would never be able to listen and the sadness of my death should not last too long to the others. It might perhaps seem as the most and last selfish thing I ever done in my life.

Going back to thinking about the list of people, it feels like I am on a time machine traveling to all my memories. Actually reading all the pages of my life time. At the same time, it is quite difficult to put myself at a spot thinking and imagining about death, because it is something that you cannot try or experienced. It is something unknown and something that you will never know until it comes. Thus, coming up with the list is not that easy.

Other Thoughts:

It also reminds me of a movie that I watched called "Happy Funeral"- bunch of youngster treating funeral as a party with death day cake, death day card, and believe that a funeral with all living people attending should exclude the sadness and include the happiest moment of the person who died. Perhaps funeral should have the mood of sadness, but a funeral without all the traditions and rituals, it might be possible to make it happened. Or maybe a funeral should benefits the people who is living and not the person who died.

From the video of Morrie, a person who is dying and sharing his words to the others. I literally understand his words, but do not understand it as relating to my own life. It gives me a feeling of unable to understand how it feels to be an old person or about to die. It could be a reason why the youngster is always separated from the old people, because they find it hard to relate to them and they never know the position that the old person is standing. I personally believes that a person should not tell the other what is right or wrong, because the others will never get it and it might make the problem even worst. But actually experienced the mistakes will help more, because the person know how it feels. This caused me to wonder what motivates Morrie to shared his wisdom and lessons about life although I believe this will come back at some point in my life.

Research on Old People (Q&A)

1. Do we need old people in the society?

The old people tempt to "heavily invest their knowledge and other resources on their descendants.
importance of old people

2.What is really the purpose of senior center?
The purpose of the senior center is to provide plans for old people to continue growing and improving in the future days they have.
purpose of senior center

3.What would happened if the elder mortality rate increase?
The increased of death rates will slow down the population growth.

death rates

4.Would it take up more space for the old people who died if they choose burial? Burial vs. Cremation?

Burial take up more ground space than cremation. However, cremation emits carbon monoxide, sulfur dioxide...etc. that actually harms the environment,too.

burial take up space & environmental impact

5.What can old people actually can contribute to the society?
Old people actually can contribute to the economic and "it shows that older people’s paid work is worth £201 billion each year, while unpaid contributions in the form of caring, volunteering and grand parenting are worth £24 billion".

economic contributions of old people

6.What activities/hobbies are common for old people?
The most common activities/hobbies for old people are knitting, sitting in front of the television, and gardening.

hobbies for old people & physical activity for older adults

7.How active are elderly people in the community?
A lot of elders are being kept in nursing homes when they gets old, but some of them are still active in the community even there are over 85% of old folks have more than one chronic conditions.

elders staying involved

8.What's the suicide rate for elderly people?

"In 2000, suicide rates ranged from 12.6 per 100,000 among persons aged 65 to 74, to 17.7 per 100,000 persons aged 75 to 84, which is nearly double the overall US rate." The common reason is that the old people did not receive the treatments they need which caused them attempt to suicide.

elderly suicide

9.What percent of old people are widows?

For females that are 65 or older, there were 81% are widows. For males, that were 13 to 14 % are widows. (1980 to 1999)
widows

10.How many old people know how to use today's modern technology?
"Facebook’s 35-54 year old demographic segment not only continued to grow the fastest, but it accelerated to a 276.4% growth rate over the past 6 months." 2009 Facebook demographics and statistics report

11.What percent of old people are social active?
"National data indicate that few older persons engage in regular physical activity. Only 31 percent of individuals aged 65 to 74 report participating in 20 minutes of moderate physical activity 3 or more days per week, and even fewer (16 percent) report 30 minutes of moderate activity 5 or more days per week (U.S. HHS, 2000). For those aged 75 and older, levels of activity are even lower: 23 percent engage in moderate activity for 20 minutes 3 or more days per week and only 12 percent participate in such activity for 30 minutes 5 or more days per week."

Physical Activity and Older Americans

12.How do old people spend their money?
Old people usually spend their money on health care, inter generational transfers of money, gifts for family and friends, travel, maintaining home, leisure, new interest, and renewing household items.

page 130 older people spend money on…

13. What percent of old people in prison?

"Recent statistics indicate that middle-aged and older people already represent the fastest growing age group in prison, giving rise to predictions that costly correctional nursing homes for ill or frail older prisoners may soon become commonplace."

elders in prison

14.What is the population rate of old people in the United States?
"The United States saw a rapid growth in its elderly population during the 20th century. The number of Americans aged 65 and older climbed above 34.9 million in 2000, compared with 3.1 million in 1900. For the same years, the ratio of elderly Americans to the total population jumped from 1 in 25 to 1 in 8. The trend is guaranteed to continue in the coming century as the baby-boom generation grows older. Between 1990 and 2020, the population aged 65 to 74 is projected to grow 74%."

Population Explosion Among Older Americans

15.How many old people still work?

"Labour participation among older people rose in all age categories up to 65 years in the period 1997-2002. The increase was largest for the age group 55-59 years, where the proportion of people with paid work rose from 42 to 54 percent. Labour participation rates for the over-65s remained low in this period."

more older people working

After doing this research, it deepen my understanding of old people. It suprised me when I noticed that the old people still be able to contribute to the society and helps the economic. More important, I noticed that old people tempt to "heavily invest" their "property" to the next generation. Although this is not obvious appealing to the society, but it is actually the biggest contribution to the society since they are giving a hand to the other. Spite the fact that they usually invest on their own descendants, the old people do play a role as giving a hand to the others. If the old people did not do anything or contribute anything when they are young in the society, there is possibility of us do not have a better life condition or not even exist. This makes me think of the "real meaning of life" might be just giving what you have to the others, passing it to the next. The fact that we cannot bring what we have with us when we died, the things that we left are really just for the next generation.

Looking at the things that the old people actually can do when they are old, it is more often to seen as very limited. A lot of the elders avoid social interactions with the others and they barely have social activities. Most the things they can do is walking, watching tv, gardening, or knitting. When people get old, the things or hobbies that they have are really the things that fill in the times that they have in their life. Some old people are still working and doing unpaid jobs to contribute to the society and some old people are even trying to fit into the now a day society play facebook or using technology. As an old people, they can still do a lot of things and even contribute to the next person. I saw people defined death as "complex personal and social phenomenon, which has substantial influence on person's life and life of the other people who can be influenced by the person's death." Perhaps when people gets old, life is meaningless that they cannot do as much things as they can do when they are young and thinking no difference between a nursing home and a jail. But it seems like there are always meaning for old people to live. As thinking about the human life cycle, when people died, and eventually turn into ashes back to the ground, to live really seems like is to passing what you have to the next.

15 Interesting Questions about Old Folks

1. Should the "young ones" just be the one their grandparents want them to be since death is coming more close, or just be themselves and doing things that make the old people unhappy? Which should people choose to live in order to have a good and meaningful life?

2.Would the society moves slower [transformation] if we include the old people into our daily life?

3. Do we need old people in the society?

4. Why do the society provide senior center for old people instead of something else that is more enjoyable for old people such as place not only for old people?

5. What is really the purpose of senior center?

6. What would happened if the death population increase? Would it take up more space for dead people?

7. After 30 more years,what locations do people choose to put the dead people?

8. Is it really necessary for people to keep a place for the dead people since they are not here anymore?

9. What would it be like if the society encourage the old people to keep living like the youngster?

10. How do the society define "old"? or the society's perspective of "old"?

11. Do generation gap really do occurs between old people to the youngster? (grandchild's generation to grandparents vs. parents and children)

12. Is old people really useless? or worthless? Values of old people?

13. Why do old people regarding on their health more than the youngster?

14. What can old people actually can contribute to the society?

15. Why do old people want to learn, and taking education?

Current Feelings About Old People

After interviewing my grandparents, I have a better understanding about them. Before starting this topic about old people, I realized they are not really in my daily life. I have never forgotten them, but they are just not always in my mind. But as learning about them, I start thinking about the old people that I know that has been around me. It actually takes awhile to think about them which makes me feel like old people are not really "online". Their status is more like "idle". After the week of learning about old people, it reminds me that I actually talk to old people a lot when I was in China. From my experience talking with them, I noticed that both me and them do not really have a generation gap between each other because we are 2 generations away from each other. Generation gap more likely to occur between my generation and my parents' generation. Talking with old people, we both avoid to talk about the things that we do not know because we both know that we are verydifferent from each other and why even bother to bring up something that we will not know. It is more likely that I will ask them about their past, and they are always more than welcome to share their stories with you. I do not really have a wise old person giving me advice about how to live, but I do talk to them when I see them. Based on my own experience, I never think old people is annoying or slow. Perhaps it is just from my family, that we have a lot of old people often in the same house. So everytime when I go to my grandma's house, theres always a lot of old people in the village. I don't feel we have a distance between each other and I always talk to them as friends. Like my grandpa, althought he is slow on computers, I chat with my grandpa through webcam on the internet. Even though it is hard to talk with the old people since they are elders and we should respect them, we still ask them about their health and life. I noticing that old people like to have attentions from the youngster. When they feel like they are being accepted by their grandchildren, they often seem to be very happy. Especially when they see their descendants are healthy and happy, they look happier than we do.

I think the old people like to isolate themselves from the young people and build up their own group. They see us as the "young ones" and they think we do not like them because they are slow. Thus, it turn out to be that we are apart from each other. Also, the old people like to give up on themselves and have not even try to be with the young people. They see themselves as one group and they do not want to be with the young people because they know they do not belong. The old people do have the ability to learn computer or playing video games, but they often seem to give up on it. In addition, they are very simple minded and they do not think as much as we do in now a day. They define happiness a lot different from us. They cares about their family the most and they seem to be more selfless and just wish the descendants are happy. Although they never talk about death in front of me before except from this time's interview, they do not really talk about it. They seem to be prepare and know it will come to them in anytime. They are very clam about it and see life as a walking tour like like the video describe below.

Walking Tour

Interviews With Old Folks (Grandparents From Mother's Side)

Interviewing My Grandfather.

1. Why are you waiting for death instead of just to kill yourself?
Why do I have to kill myself? I don't see the purpose of killing myself except the God wants me to. Have the chance to live is already worth living. It is not like I have lots of problems that I cannot solve or I am in pain. Being old does not mean your life does not have meaning.

2. Is there any meaning for you to continue your life with pain that you have to suffer?

Yes. Because I hope my children are living happily. Also my grandchildren, too. I have seen a lot of pain and I can live with these pain until now.People do not stop living or end their life because of pain. Life do not contains pain, happiness also. Most important, is to be happy.

3. What motivate you to continue living?
I still have my company to take care of and things waiting for me to do. I can play with my grandchild and be with my spouse. I can also go to the senior center and play with my friends. There is just so many things for me to do that I do not even have to think why should I keep living. Because I am human, that is why I live.

4. Do legacy plays a big role in your life at this point?

Of course. I worked so hard and hoping my family to be happy. All the things that I have and the family that I have right now is my wealth. I worked hard for all these so my descendants can have a better life in the future. The things that I have left, I wish it will pass to the next generation and so on.

5. Are you afraid of death?
No, because I can't be afraid of death. Also, it is something that will happen to everybody. I am old enough and I have seen a lot of dead people in my life. The world is fair, everybody have to die. Why should I even be afraid of it? As long as I can live, I appreciate the days that I have. If death comes, then it just come.

6. Why are you so optimistic about death? What caused that?
I am not optimistic about it. Perhaps it is because I have seen it a lot. When you get old and see more people leaving you. Then you will get use to it and you know the pain. Keep in mind that I am just going to somewhere else. To the place where my mom has went long time ago. I am just meeting her there. I don't see life as the end, it is just a new start. It is just passing it to somebody else. I contribute to the next generation and the next generation should contribute to the next.

7. What do you think the meaning of life for you at this point of life?
Enjoying life. To be with my family, and sometimes going back to my company and manage my business. Sometimes I can go out with my friends and we can drink tea in a nice hotel together. Also I will always be here for my descendants as long as I could.

8. Have you ever thought of tomorrow? Or you are always ready to die?
Of course. People should always have plans. So what if tomorrow is the time for you to die. You still need to have plan. You do not just sit there and waiting for death. Don't think more than you do. You should not always doubt about the future because you never know what will happen tomorrow. Live as long as you could, and don't miss a day or any chance. When you get old, you treat everyday as your last day. And you should expected and get prepared.

9. Did life meet your gratification? Or at this point of your life, what gratify you?

Yes. I have a successful business and I have a great family. I am happy because I have so many people to be with me and we always have big gatherings. Everything is going fine in my life even though it has pain. I have wealth, family, love, and friends. What should I really complain?

10. Have you ever try to fill the generation gap between yourself and your descendant? Or have you ever felt being excluded by the society?

I never felt like I am being excluded by the society because I am old. There is senior center for our old folks to chill and have fun. My children did not leave me alone and always come visit. I don't feel being alone or being excluded. For generation gap, it didn't really bothers me. Even though I do not know so much technology like you guys do, there is always something that we can talk about. It didn't really bother me and I don't feel we are misunderstanding each other. Like every time when you come back from the U.S., there is always something that we can talk about. I don't see it as a gap, is just your generation and mine.

11. What are your responsibilities at this point?

To take care of my family and stay with my wife as long as I can.Hopefully I am not a burden for my descendants. If I can help them, that will be great.

12. Do you like to be old?

Nobody does! But you just have to accepted. Being old is not as bad as you think it is. You don't have to worry so much about it. When it comes, then you'll know how it feels like.

13. Do you have more patience when you are old?

No, because I don't like people who does not how to manage time. When you give me the time, you shouldn't be late. People should have plans and you never should kept people waiting. You have to keep your promise.

14. What is your elderly plan when you are young?
Like all tradition man, have a family and be a nice grandpa and a good husband. Then taking care of my family and hoping to help them as much as can. Be there when they need me.

15. How does it felt to be separated from your own child?

Being old, I expected that I have to let go of my children. So I will always find something to do for myself. Although sometimes I felt lonely when they did not come, I can't do anything. All I can do is to accept this reality.

Interviewing My Grandmother.

1. Why are you waiting for death instead of just to kill yourself?
DID NOT ASK BECAUSE OF CHINESE NEW YEAR. IS PROHIBITED TO TALK ABOUT IT TO CERTAIN PEOPLE ABOUT DEATH AS THE MEANING OF BAD LUCK.

2. Is there any meaning for you to continue your life with pain that you have to suffer?

Life must go on. You should not stop living because of pain. It is all destiny. You born to have a bad life then you just have to accepted. Even though it is the worst, there must be a good side. I have suffer a lot of pain, but who's life is perfect? You just have to accept this and it is not the end of the world.

3. What motivate you to continue living?
My husband and my family. They are part of my life and they motivates me to live. As a mother and a wife, you suppose to take a good care of them for your rest of your life. That is parent's responsibility.

4. Do legacy plays a big role in your life at this point?

Yes, I worked hard and of course it is for my descendants. I cannot bring all the things with me when I am not here anymore. So of course it will pass to my children.

5. Are you afraid of death?
DID NOT ASK BECAUSE OF CHINESE NEW YEAR. IS PROHIBITED TO TALK ABOUT IT TO CERTAIN PEOPLE ABOUT DEATH AS THE MEANING OF BAD LUCK.

6. Why are you so optimistic about death? What caused that?
DID NOT ASK BECAUSE OF CHINESE NEW YEAR. IS PROHIBITED TO TALK ABOUT IT TO CERTAIN PEOPLE ABOUT DEATH AS THE MEANING OF BAD LUCK.

7. What do you think the meaning of life for you at this point of life?
My family. I get used to be a housewife and taking care of my family. There is so many things for me to do in this house, and I don't have the time to think about is there a meaning or not. I just live my life, why even bother to think of the meaning?

8. Have you ever thought of tomorrow? Or you are always ready to die?
DID NOT ASK BECAUSE OF CHINESE NEW YEAR. IS PROHIBITED TO TALK ABOUT IT TO CERTAIN PEOPLE ABOUT DEATH AS THE MEANING OF BAD LUCK.

9. Did life meet your gratification? Or at this point of your life, what gratify you?

I have take good care of my children and they are have a good family. As a mother, seeing all my children are living healthy and happily is one of my pride.

10. Have you ever try to fill the generation gap between yourself and your descendant? Or have you ever felt being excluded by the society?

I did not see generation gap as a problem for me and my children. They have their stuffs to do and I have my own. We can always talk and communicate with each other and I don't see as an ignorant of technology has create a gap between myself and my descendants. I don't feel like I am being excluded by the society because I do not feel I am being left out, also it does not really matter anymore.

11. What are your responsibilities at this point?

Take a good care of my family and my husband.

12. Do you like to be old?

Of course no. I don't think anybody want to be old. But that is the reality.

13. Do you have more patience when you are old?

Yes, because when you are old, things are getting slow and as times pass by. It will turn out to be a habit, and you will get used to wait. Everything is the same and it trains you to have patience. Also, you cannot really rush things out.

14. What is your elderly plan when you are young?
I never thought of any plan when I am young. I mostly very busy on my work. But as now, I just wish I have a happy family and all my children can be independent, so I don't have to worry about them.

15. How does it felt to be separated from your own child?

For daughters, when they are married, it is like water that you pour out. For sons, I wish he marry and have kids. It does not matter they are separated from me as long as they come visit. I know they are working hard and busy on their life and I should not a burden for them.

Interviews With Old Folks (Grandparents from Father's Side)

Interviewing My Grandmother.

1. Why are you waiting for death instead of just to kill yourself?
Mostly because I have my family, grand kids, sons and daughters. As a parent, no matter how old your child is, you still have to take good care of them. Also, because they are part of me, and I'm part of the family. Everybody have responsibilities, and I want to be here for them as long as I can, so I'm always available for them when they need me. And I still have my husbands to be with me living happily every day. So I don't really see the purpose of finishing up my life when I have the chance to live. There are a lot of people out there that want to live and does not even have the destiny to.

2. Is there any meaning for you to continue your life with pain that you have to suffer?
Yes, because I have seen pain and I suffer them before. And when you get old, you'll get used to it and they just felt like a regular thing that happens to you everyday like you have to eat every single day.

3. What motivate you to continue living?
Legacy. My friends and my family. The longer I live, the more I can see. And I have to pray for my family, so everybody can live safely and happily.

4. Do legacy plays a big role in your life at this point?
Of course. I have been working so hard back then for my family, food and a good life. And now I am enjoying the pay off.

5. Are you afraid of death?
Not really. Because I seen my friends are dying and I know that it happens to everybody. Why would I spend so much time thinking about it, when I can just enjoy my life happily? I would just live the longest I can and no fears towards death even though it will come any time.

6. Why are you so optimistic about death? What caused that?

You'll know when you are old. Death is not the scariest thing in life. As a Chinese, we all have 5 good fortune. "longevity", "riches and honour", "health and peace", "virtue and morality" and "die in one's bed". So death is consider one of them. You should not afraid of it and feel bad about it at all.

7. What do you think the meaning of life for you at this point of life?

Again. My family and friends. Also I can see as much as I can. Technology are going a lot faster now. Even your grandfather is learning how to use computers. There is always a meaning to live, you just have to find it.

8. Have you ever thought of tomorrow? Or you are always ready to die?
I always thought about tomorrow. I have to cook for your grandpa, pray, and a lot of housework. Also, I have to travel with my friends and enjoy my life. I can't be ready for it, until I know when is coming. Also, as an old person, you can sense when it is coming.

9. Did life meet your gratification? Or at this point of your life, what gratify you?
Happiness and everybody in my family living happily gratify me a lot. There is no perfect, but I did meet my gratification. But as a person, you always want more.

10. Have you ever try to fill the generation gap between yourself and your descendant? Or have you ever felt being excluded by the society?
I never felt I am being excluded by the society. The young ones can do what they want, and our old ones can do what we want. We are all part of the society, and we are just in different categories. I do not really see the generation gap between myself and my descendant, but when there is, I will always want to ask them what is it. So I can learn and fill the gap.

11. What are your responsibilities at this point?
To take care of my family and pray for god to bless all of us. Everybody have responsibilities, and mine is to take good care of my child and their grand kids.

12. Do you like to be old?
Of course not. But time does not wait for people and is not for me to choose I want to be old or not. You just have to accept the reality.

13. Do you have more patience when you are old?
Yes, because you see more and experience more. Everything turns to be regular in my life. Things are going slower, too. When you get used to it as a habit, I don't see the reason why you can't wait.

14. What is your elderly plan when you are young?
To be with my family and try to help them as much as I can. I know I would be old someday, so I do as much as I can when I am young. Of course, to work hard to have a better family condition. So my kids and grand kids do not have to suffer from starving in the future. For myself, I plan to travel when I am old and just enjoy my life.

15. How does it felt to be separated from your own child?

Of course I did not get used to it at first, because they are my children. But that is how life is, you have to release. Also, they come more than thrice a week sometimes even more. They have their own family and things to do. As long as they still remember me and come visit, I am happy and gratify.

Interviewing My Grandfather.

1. Why are you waiting for death instead of just to kill yourself?

First of all, it is because of your grandma. I want to be with her as long as I can since we choose to be each other's partners when we get old. When you marry, your partner's responsibility is to stay with their spouse as long as they can. Second, it is my family and my friends. I felt the connection between myself and my family, and I am looking forward to see their future and hope the best of all for my family. I do not see the purpose of suicide and there is always a solution to problems, why choose to be an escapist.

2. Is there any meaning for you to continue your life with pain that you have to suffer?

Yes, because pain should not be the reason or hindrance that stop your life. Life must go on. You don't have the choice to be on earth, but since you are here, just do your job and live your life. There is always a reason why you are here, and do what you have to do. On your way of living, you will see the meaning of life.

3. What motivate you to continue living?

Again, my family, friends. Legacy. There is always something that you can do. Contribute to the society and help the others. There are still a lot of place that I haven't travel to yet, and I am looking forward to travel with my friends.

4. Do legacy plays a big role in your life at this point?

Yes. It is really the biggest motivation for my life at this point. When I am young, I worked hard to get what I want and when I die, I suppose to pass to somebody else. Life is a cycle, generation to generation. I contribute what I can and we should always think of the next generation. We cannot be so selfish and just thinking about our own.

5. Are you afraid of death?
No, because I don't see it as a big deal or the end of the world. When I was less than 10 years old, I already lost my parents. I know death is just part of our life and it is not something that people should be afraid of. Also, if everybody dies but you, that is more scary.

6. Why are you so optimistic about death? What caused that?

Because I seen it, and I know it will happen to everybody. So I don't think death is really a bad thing, it could see as a release for a person. Thus, they don't suffer pain anymore. But it doesn't mean you should just kill yourself and release. If you have the chance to live, you should cherish every chance that you have to look forward to things. Once times pass, it doesn't comes back. When you are old, there are something that you can't do. There are many people that want to live but can't. You have the chance to, so you should live your life. Don't let yourself to feel regret about anything you had done when you look back to life.

7. What do you think the meaning of life for you at this point of life?
Traveling around, watching my family and be with my spouse. It doesn't matter how long I can live, as long as I think my life is worth living from learning more every single day.

8. Have you ever thought of tomorrow? Or you are always ready to die?
It is not like something you can get ready for. I bet almost everybody have thought about death and people expected it will come someday. We all just living our life and waiting. Once you get old, you will start to thinking about that day since it is coming soon and get prepare. But you should always thought of tomorrow, because you never know what will happen.

9. Did life meet your gratification? Or at this point of your life, what gratify you?

Does not have to starve is something that I gratify a lot. Seeing my family living happily and healthy meet my gratification, too. Not necessary have to be rich or something like that, having something such as family that money can't buy, it is something that makes me feel proud and worth living.

10. Have you ever try to fill the generation gap between yourself and your descendant? Or have you ever felt being excluded by the society?

I read and watch the news everyday, and I do not feel I am being excluded by the society at all. Even though I am old, but I am still part of the society. I never thought of or even attempt to fill the generation gap between myself and my descendants because I don't see the reason to. I have my generation and they have theirs. We are growing up in a different environment and it is hard to understand each other. But I do not really see the gap between me and my son because we can still communicate and talk. It is just we have different toys, like I play clays, and you guys play computers. Although we are different, I don't see there is a problem. We can always talk about the problems between different generations.

11. What are your responsibilities at this point?

Be a good father, a grandfather and a good citizen of my country. Now I don't have to work anymore and all I have to do is sleep, eat, travel, and have fun. I enjoy my life and is been a long time that I have retired. I get used to my life and my responsibility is just not to be a burden for my descendants. I wish they all living happily.

12. Do you like to be old?

Nobody wants to be old. But it is not our choice. So accepted and cherish your adolescent life. Remember, time worth more than anything.

13. Do you have more patience when you are old?

I guess so. When you are old, things sometimes gets slower and that trains you to have more patience. You would not complain as much as you used to when you are young. Things are getting more clam and peacefully.

14. What is your elderly plan when you are young?

Worked hard and build up a good environment for my descendants. Help my sons and daughters and my grandchildren. Let them have the sense of home. Then enjoy my life and feel restful.

15. How does it felt to be separated from your own child?

Not a big difference. Because they always come visit and I always travel around myself. I know I have to let go, and I expect this to happen. So it not like the end of the world that I feel lonely. There is always something that you can find to do and don't always distract the youngster. They have their things to do and I have my own.

Questions to ask an Old Person

1. Why are you waiting for death instead of just to kill yourself?

2. Is there any meaning for you to continue your life with pain that you have to suffer?

3. What motivate you to continue living?

4. Do legacy plays a big role in your life at this point?

5. Are you afraid of death?

6. Why are you so optimistic about death? What caused that?

7. What do you think the meaning of life for you at this point of life?

8. Have you ever thought of tomorrow? Or you are always ready to die?

9. Did life meet your gratification? Or at this point of your life, what gratify you?

10. Have you ever try to fill the generation gap between yourself and your descendant? Or have you ever felt being excluded by the society?

11. What are your responsibilities at this point?

12. Do you like to be old?

13. Do you have more patience when you are old?

14. What is your elderly plan when you are young?

15. How does it felt to be separated from your own child?